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Apr
20th
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Bill Gates is Satan

Well, you’ll be happy to know that I’ve no choice but to start blogging more regularly for the next two weeks or so. For you see, my XBox 360 has died. Yes, I have been victimized by the red ring of death. Although apparently I can still try unplugging everything and then trying it again, I don’t have much hope that this will work.

So I come to my point: Bill Gates is Satan. He has promised – and delivered – pleasure and good times. But, just like a crack dealer suddenly cutting off an addict, he has provided a product which is unstable and unreliable. Hundreds, if not thousands, of gamers around the world have experienced the same crash as me, and yet Microsoft offers nothing aside from free repair. (Don’t get me wrong – that’s a good first step. But they should have caught whatever is causing this before they shipped.)

Jack in Fight Club explains the entire modus operandi of modern corporate theory: “A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don’t do one.” Your frustration and rage are less significant to us than posting $12.6 billion in profits. Obviously, my whining is nothing compared to the people who really get screwed by corporate greed. But c’mon – I’m hurting here. Have some sympathy.

I suppose in the long-term, this is a good thing. I spend way too much time playing that stupid thing, so maybe this is Altin looking down and helping me break the stranglehold Satan Gates has on my free time.

Or maybe JB will let me go over and play on his machine.